Special
by Saigocage
Summary: Mello view of the kids in Wammy's House and roughness between Matt. I dunno! Lame summary, but please read, it's not that long. PART TWO ADDED!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Umm... having a bad day, so this story just came out. It's a bit of how I'm currently feeling, so yeeeeah. I hope you enjoy it and please review.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Death Note nor the song "Creep" by Radiohead

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_I wish I was special._

_But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo._

_What the hell am I doing here? _

_I don't belong here._

'_Yeah, that's how I feel.' _Mello thought to himself as he sat alone in the cafeteria, listening to his cheap little MP3 player that all the orphans got for Christmas last year. He had a Criminal Psychology book open on one side of his plate of scrambled eggs and 2 pancakes, both of which laid untouched. Today he decided to just observe everyone, even though it pained him a lot to do that. Everyone had their own little group to spend the time with, even that freak Near, while Mello just sat alone in his usual table at the back of the cafeteria, near a large window. Normally Mello would just pull out a book and pretend that he was too busy studying to be bothered by anyone, but the truth was, even if he had a large double chocolate German cake up for grabs at his table, no one would even spare him a glance.

Mello placed an elbow on the table and his chin in his hand as he continued to observe the kids. This was a really small orphanage, wait. Should it even be called an orphanage? It's not like they could get adopted out, so they basically were all adopted by Mr. Wammy. We'll just call it an institute. Well, this institute was really small, honestly, how many orphan geniuses do you see in one life time? So everyone knew each other and if you weren't with some crowd at an early age, then there was just no hope for you to ever get in with any group, no matter how nice you were, and Mello was nice… when he needed to be. It wasn't like he was pushing people away, he really did want friends, but when he was younger and in the top position, he felt that no one was good enough, so he didn't try to keep any of his friends. Boy, did he regret it now.

As he watched the small groups of chattering children he noticed that even though they were all seated in different tables and generally kept away from each other, they were all the same. They had their leader, the one that everyone in the group liked. Next to the leader was their best friend, or so it would seem. Then you had a few other people that kissed ass to try to get in good with the leader, for reasons that Mello would never understand. And lastly, there was always the outcast of the group, quiet and seemingly out of place, but accepted nonetheless, something that Mello didn't have in any of those groups. Near was the outcast of his group, well, it was Linda's group, but either way, he was wanted, so why wasn't Mello?

There was a loud roar in Mello's ear, causing him to jump a bit. He had forgotten that he still had his MP3 player playing. He stop for a moment of observing the kids to change the song. Feeling rather masochistic today, he decided to put "Creep" the Scarling version on replay. He really liked the girls voice, so it wasn't all bad. When Mello looked back up his noticed a boy with brilliant red hair walking out of the food line, carrying a tray of the same thing that Mello was eating. The blond's heart skipped a beat at the sight of the other boy. "Matt" He whispered softly to himself.

Matt was the third smartest kid in Wammy's House and, just like Mello, he was a complete loner. It wasn't always like that though, they used to be the best of friends. Always making each other feel special and wanted. But somehow, as time went by and things were being exposed, they started to grow apart. Mello didn't know if Matt simply didn't want to hang around with him anymore, or if he was scared away by Mello's feelings toward him. Whatever the case was, Mello missed him so much. Not for the sake of having his crush near by, no, it was because of that special friendship that Matt gave him.

Ooh how Mello longed to be back in Matt's life, but it seemed impossible. It has just been too many years. 3 to be exact. He sighed, trying to hold back the tears. No one was supposed to see that, even at 14, Mello still cried. "I wish I was special, you're so fucking special." Mello sang softly along to the song. '_Maybe then you'll notice how much I'm hurting without you.' _The blond kept watching Matt, who had just finished his breakfast and was now playing the Gameboy that Mello had bought him a few years ago. That made Mello smile just a bit. To know that he still played with something that Mello bought him, made him feel just a tiny bit special.

Mello was suddenly tired of playing this stupid game. He yanked out the headphone from his ears and turned off his MP3 player, before getting up to quickly throw his food away. He stopped at the trash can, taking in a deep calming breath. He needed to do this, and he needed to do it now! _'I don't care if it hurts. I want to have control.' _Mello sang in his head as he walked toward Matt. He stood in front of the boy, who looked up when he sensed that someone was there.

"Hi."

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**A/N: **Please review. Creative Criticism much appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Alright, so there were some people that wanted the one-shot to continue, so here is the second and FINAL part. I hope you like it. Sorry if there are any grammatical errors. I'm really tired. Enjoy! And Please review.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Death Note.

"Hey." Mello stood there for a moment, he didn't have worked out what it was that he wanted to say to Matt. He couldn't drop to his knees and beg Matt to come back into his life, not in front of all these people. "Matt... can we talk somewhere more private?" Mello asked a bit shyly, or unsure of himself, what was the difference? Matt nodded as he turned off his Gameboy and stood up. In an irritatingly slow pace, Matt walked his tray to the nearest trash can and dumped his trash. "Alright, we can go." Matt said once he was back next to Mello. The blond nodded, then lead Matt up to his bedroom.

The room was much messier than what Matt remembered. Nothing had been moved, the bed was still on the left side of the room, the desk and chair in the middle, and the closet on the right, but now there were books and piles of papers stacked all over the room. On the desk, on the floor, and even on the window sill. Mello walked in and sat down on the unmade bed, leaving the chair to Matt.

They sat there in silence. Mello was trying to figure out the right things to say, if that was even possible, and Matt just patiently waiting for Mello to speak. Finally, after a few moments of hesitation, Mello spoke. "Umm… I want to know what happened to us. We used to be best friend and now we don't even give each other the time of day."

Matt sat there silently, as if thinking of a way to word what he needed to say; in a way that Mello would understand and would not get mad at him. "I guess I just grew up." It was the best that Matt could come up with, on such a short notice, though he should have seen this coming since the day they stopped talking.

"Grew up? I don't get it. I'm older than you. How… I don't understand."

"I guess I grew out of those similar interests that bound our friendship."

"But you walk around playing video games like you always have!" Mello shouted from the edge of the bed. Matt was unfazed by his actions since he was so used to the blond boy.

"Why would you want to be friends with me anyways, Mello? We are so different. You love chocolate, being number 1, playing soccer, bullying kids, competing against Near. You aim to be L. No, you aim to surpass L. And you are impulsive and emotional." Matt slowly stood up from the chair. "While me. I love video games, I hate the outdoors, I don't like being around other people. I don't want to be L. And I'm laid back and carefree. I'm almost the exact opposite of you. Give it up Mello, its over." After his mini speech Matt walked out of Mello's room, willing himself not to give in to the hurt expression on his former best friend's face.

Mello sat there in his bed, dumbfounded. They had always been like that, since when did it become an issue? Friends didn't have to be the exact copy of each other, so why did it matter that they were so different? It's not like they used to constantly clash, they always agreed on what they would do. So why, why, _why _did it become an issue?

Unable to hold back his tears, Mello let himself drop onto his bed, burying his face into his pillow. He had lost Matt forever and he didn't even understand why or how.

Upset by having to reject Mello like that, Matt sat by his open window and smoked a cigarette, a habit that he picked up shortly after he stopped talking to Mello, trying to calm himself. He hated to be away from the blond, but he was so afraid of his emotions. There was no one there to tell him that it was alright to like someone, especially when you already know that they liked you. But Matt feared being abandoned, so he rationalized that it was better to not even try and have a relationship with Mello.

There was a knock on the blond's bedroom door. "What?!" He shouted, now just lying on his stomach, head turned toward the wall, his eyes were red and puffy from having been crying for what seemed like a whole hour. "Roger wants to see you in his office." Came the voice of a timid girl. With a sigh Mello stood up, wiped his eyes and left his bedroom, going straight to Roger's office. On the way there, there were kids running down the hall, and in his pissed off mood, Mello shoved and pushed the kids out of the way, even going as far as pulling the hair of a smaller child.

Mello walked into the large office without bothering to knock. To his disgusted surprise, there sat Near doing one of his ridiculous blank puzzles.

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"L's dead…" Mello mumbled to himself in utter disbelief as he sat in his bedroom. Could his day get any worse? "I… I have no reason to stay here anymore." the blond continued to speak to himself. "I'm not wanted here anymore. Near is L, and Matt hates me. Why should I stay? I don't belong here." As he kept mumbling to himself, he subconsciously grabbed a duffel bag and began to stuff it with his clothes and chocolate bars. "I have to do this on my own. I have to find Kira and kill him myself."

In less then an hour Mello had on his coat and a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. He stood outside the gates of Wammy's House for a moment, quickly contemplating where to go, before turning left and going down that way, without looking back.

Matt was running around the orphanage asking everyone that he ran into if they have seen Mello. It wasn't long ago that Matt had made up his mind to tell Mello how he truly felt about him. He figured that even now the blond cared about him, so he couldn't abandon him. "Mello!" He shouted when he ran into the cafeteria and just like every other place that he had checked there was no reply.

"Looking for Mello, I assume." said a small voice from behind Matt. The redhead quickly turned around to see who spoke. "Near. Have you seen Mello?" The smaller boy lifted his finger to twirl it into his hair. "He left. He was upset, so he said that he was leaving Wammy's House forever." "What?!" Matt shouted, before taking off to Mello's room.

"No no no! Don't do this to me, Mel! Don't you leave too!" And sure enough, as Matt burst through Mello's door, the room was completely empty. All that was left were the stacks of books and paper.

"No Mello." Matt whispered as he dropped to his knees, panting for breath. He really wasn't much of a runner, so it took a lot out of him, that, and he was now a smoker. "You weren't supposed to leave me." Matt buried his face into his hands as he began to cry. "This is all my fault!"

Later Matt will find out that he was not the only reason why Mello left, but for now, he sits on the floor of Mello's bedroom crying, and fully believing that he is the only reason that Mello left.

**A/N: **I hope you liked it. Please review.


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